Admitting defeat

So, the time has finally come when I have to admit defeat on my allotment. It’s all rather sad.

Things got so hectic with my course that I couldn’t get down there for three weeks and the weeds are up past my waist. I put a pot of lavender down last time I was there and when I went back this morning I couldn’t find it – I kid you not. I struggled to get from one side to the other. This was the final straw which broke my back as I had been thinking about quitting the allotment for a couple of months. I have collected my tools, brought them home and I need to arrange how I will get the shed home and flat-packed down the side of our home shed.

Part of me is really sad about this, but part of me is much more pragmatic – everyone down on the allotment is either: retired, doesn’t work, only works part-time, or they have spent hundreds on their allotment. The person behind me has spent over £700 on their little patch, a sum which seems completely absurd to me. It requires an awful lot of time to look after an allotment, which I currently would prefer to spend on other aspects of my life. There was also a big mental block to going there – I would be GOING TO THE ALLOTMENT, which meant old jeans, three hours and a lot of aching afterwards. As a result I would only go there if I could spare three hours, rather than popping along for an hour, which I think is what is needed on a daily basis as a minimum, along with a good few hours each day at the weekend.

I also am rather sad that my somewhat idealistic aspect of the community spirit of an allotment didn’t arise. It was a new allotment, so things are being build from scratch, but I really wanted everyone to work together. I think it is far too large for that and possibly because everyone had their patch it didn’t work. I was so upset when I saw people start to fence their bit off – especially when they used the flourescent orange builders netting. It really divided the place up and made it all very individualistic. One day I will work on creating a community in the real world. This is not my first disappointment with community, I lived in one made up of 17 people in a rather strange, rambling abode above a leather shop at the top of Brick Lane in London. A topic for another post.

So, what I am doing with the tools and bits that lots of people gave me for my birthday last year? Well, I have gotten the gardening bug and so I am investing time and energy transforming our garden. When I first moved in with my OH just before I got the allotment I wasn’t comfortable doing things in his garden. Now I feel it is very much our garden and our home, so I am happy to start putting my stamp on the garden! His mum and dad put in some amazing raised beds with a lot of structured (I think the proper word is architectural) plants and so I am making flower beds around the side. I will also be doing a lot of pots as we have a large concreted over bit (nice). I have really got the gardening bug now, something which I must have inherited from my mum, and so I will be continuing to learn and grow. I will be focusing mainly on flowers and herb, especially those which can be used in herbalism.

As for food; I have signed up to Abel and Cole, who deliver local, fresh food to me once a week. This is good as it means I can pretty much avoid going to the supermarket and it will force us to eat better as the food is relatively pricey and I will feel even more guilty about throwing it  away.

The end of a rather small experience for me in allotmenteering, but it has definitely made me into a gardener. Are there any other allotmenteers out there? How do you cope with it?

Pagan Folk against Fascism

My other half and I disagree on so many things – for example when we were driving to see a potential wedding venue we passed through a village which had a lot of English flags flying – the white flag with the red cross, or Union flags (the OH gets cross when I say Union Jack as he says it is only a Jack when it is on a ship). I said this made me uncomfortable as it makes me think of BNP supporters, or racist, violent football supporters. He got really upset – and said he detests that fact that I think like that and even more that the flags have been hijacked in my mind by these parties.

For those of you outside the UK the British National Party (BNP) is a disgusting political party who are very scarily gaining strong ground in the UK, to the extent that they actually have a seat in the commons. I refuse to provide any links to their sites. Their basic premise is that anyone who isn’t white or British shouldn’t be here and should leave immediately.

I have recently become aware of Folk against Fascism. From the Folk against Fascism website:

The British National Party’s manifesto encourages its members to insinuate themselves into the folk and traditional customs of Britain. This involves the appropriation of British folk music and culture as a means of spreading its peculiar brand of racism and intolerance.

The UK folk scene is a welcoming and inclusive one; folk music and dance have always been about collaboration, participation, communication and respect. Folk Against Fascism has been created to take a stand against the BNP’s targeting of folk music, a stand against the appropriation of our culture. Folk Against Fascism isn’t a political party or a bureaucratic, top-heavy organisation. It is any and all of us who want to make ourselves aware of the BNP’s bigoted view of our history and culture, and who want to do something about it.

The BNP want to take our music, want to twist it into something it isn’t; something exclusive, not inclusive. We must not let them. Folk Against Fascism is a way to demonstrate our anger at the way the BNP wants to remodel folk music in its own narrowminded image.

Oh. My. Gods. This is appalling! I have a small amount to do with the Folk scene, having been in a folk group, which I will be going back to once I start my new job (they are close to each other). But more importantly to me, some folk music is strongly linked to Paganism. As such there has been a Pagan Folk Against Fascism group started. They have just released a CD, which can be bought here. I haven’t bought my yet as I want to wait until they have a digital version, but it looks good, containing some of my favourite Pagan musicians.

But for me this really does show how insidious the BNP is and how they are trying to twist things we should be proud of into things which make me, and others like me, feel uncomfortable about. Like flying the national flag.

My other half and I disagree on so many things – for example when we were driving to see a potential wedding venue we passed through a village which had a lot of English flags flying – the white flag with the red cross, or Union flags (the OH gets cross when I say Union Jack as he says it is only a Jack when it is on a ship). I said this made me uncomfortable as it makes me think of BNP supporters, or racist, violent football supporters. He got really upset – and said he detests that fact that I think like that and even more that the flags have been hijacked in my mind by these parties.

For those of you outside the UK the British National Party (BNP) is a disgusting political party who are very scarily gaining strong ground in the UK, to the extent that they actually have a seat in the commons. I refuse to provide any links to their sites. Their basic premise is that anyone who isn’t white or British shouldn’t be here and should leave immediately.

I have recently become aware of Folk against Fascism. From the Folk against Fascism website:

The British National Party’s manifesto encourages its members to insinuate themselves into the folk and traditional customs of Britain. This involves the appropriation of British folk music and culture as a means of spreading its peculiar brand of racism and intolerance.

The UK folk scene is a welcoming and inclusive one; folk music and dance have always been about collaboration, participation, communication and respect. Folk Against Fascism has been created to take a stand against the BNP’s targeting of folk music, a stand against the appropriation of our culture. Folk Against Fascism isn’t a political party or a bureaucratic, top-heavy organisation. It is any and all of us who want to make ourselves aware of the BNP’s bigoted view of our history and culture, and who want to do something about it.

The BNP want to take our music, want to twist it into something it isn’t; something exclusive, not inclusive. We must not let them. Folk Against Fascism is a way to demonstrate our anger at the way the BNP wants to remodel folk music in its own narrowminded image.

Oh. My. Gods. This is appalling! I have a small amount to do with the Folk scene, having been in a folk group, which I will be going back to once I start my new job (they are close to each other). But more importantly to me, some folk music is strongly linked to Paganism. As such there has been a Pagan Folk Against Fascism group started. When they create a site I will write about it and at the same time tell you in more detail about my favourite groups.

But for me this really does show how insidious the BNP is and how they are trying to twist things we should be proud of into things which make me, and others like me, feel uncomfortable about. Like flying the national flag.

Politics

Here in the UK we are in the run up to the General Election, where we the British public get to vote in a whole new Government. Except, it doesn’t quite work that way.

I am not going to go into the ins and outs of our election system, but it is first past the post. It’s not good.

Since I have been old enough to I have voted, but this year I feel more fired up than usual. I am not sure why – I think it’s because so much of it makes me angry. If you follow British politics you will know that the year has been a complete farce – expenses, economy and lastly the digital economy bill. If you haven’t heard of you it you can look here for more here. From the Open Rights Group:

Consumers and companies (including Google, Facebook and Internet Service Providers themselves) alike are up in arms about the Bill, which proposes that an Internet connection could be cut off if there is suspicion that it is being used for the downloading of copyrighted content. This is very disturbing:

• Although proof is required before disconnection, the evidence does not have to relate to you: you can be punished for the actions of a friend or even a neighbour who has used your Internet connection.
• Rights holders could have the power to demand that sites they believe to contravene copyright law be blocked by ISPs. Right now, we don’t know what the government will propose, as they have yet to draft their new proposal
• As it is not the perpetrator that is punished, as you might expect, but the owner of the connection, and others using it, cafés and bars may have to stop providing wifi.

It is horrible and the way it got rushed through the process? Even worse – the country watched as it all went to hell – you can read updates from the Guardian on it here.

The whole farce has made me start twittering (@DarkPurpleMoon)- you can see my comments on the right hand side. I have written to three candidates in my area to see what their response was, although for my current MP (a labour supporter) I could see that he voted positively for it. So I asked how he thought his stance was supporting the people he represented?

My local Lib Dem supporter Carys Davis responded very positively to my email and said she and her party will fight against it. We have had an email discussion and she has offered to come and see me to discuss my thoughts. Wow, a Politian, engaging with the voter. My gods its amazing! Combined with that and the very cool tool which is Vote for Policies which allows you to see which party you most agree with I think my vote maybe heading in this direction. They seem to talk sense about a whole range of issues. However it is not guaranteed as yet and I may yet be swayed, however talking to me and engaging with me is a good place to start.

Politics is a tricky thing, and I never really have an open conversation with people about it like this. This blog has really changed me from an intensely private person to one who shares personal thoughts with the world (even if it is to a small readership). My other half and I have to agree to disagree on politics as we come from very different viewpoints on the whole thing and so it is strange to put these ideas ‘out there’ as it were.

I think most of my readers are abroad – what are your views on the Digital Economy Bill (#debill) and British politics? UK people what’s your thinking at the moment?

Spring has truly sprung

I made it down my allotment today – hurrah!

Oh dear – spring has really gotten underway. And how do I know this? Because of the WEEDS! So many of them. Everywhere!

All I could do was to get my trusty hoe and start hacking and then raking. I managed to make a lot of head way in a small amount of time. I decided I wouldn’t do more than a couple of hours, otherwise I would be really sore and stiff tomorrow.

I got my allotment last May and I really didn’t (and don’t) want to spend a lot of money – making it look all ordered and neat. A lot of my neighbours down there seem to have spent a fortune in wood for making boxes, which is great – I love raised beds, they are so neat and tidy, but expensive to make. For me that defeats the object of allotments!

I was really pleased as I moved away all of the weeds – the soil underneath was really rich and well dug. All of the time I spent last summer digging over the disused and rock hard land filled with rubbish and lots of stones was worth it. I was lucky enough to get my hands on some extremely well-rotted horse manure which I dug in last year and it has paid off with some fertile looking soil this year.

I have used some old scaffolding planks to start to put some structure to my beds, I used broken up bits of pallet last year, which looked messy, took HOURS to break up and the soil pushed them back up again.

Using some old logs and a trough of some description I have started to create a wildlife sanctuary – all of the other allotments are quite sterile and totally focused on food production, so I am going to have a log pile, small pond and lots of flowers which are good for bees and other  beneficial  insects. I also plan to grow some flowers to fulfill my love of fresh-cut flowers in the house. This way I don’t need to worry about ‘flower miles’!

In an endeavour to add some extra oompf to my lotions and potions (hmm, I haven’t told you about them, have I? I guess I should do a post on my homemade beauty products) I am going on an introduction to herbal medicine next Saturday, which I am really looking forward to. As such I am leaving space on my allotment for growing some herbs too – I have got seeds for the top 10 herbs James Wong recommends in his book Grow your own drugs and these will be going in as soon as possible.

My allotment for me makes me feel slightly conflicted. I am such a control freak in everyday life and extremely organised and a very strong part of me wants to make it very neat and tidy. But another part of me wants it to be messy and chaotic, so working down there is a real change from the rest of my life. Whatever happens I must get down there more often, working outdoors is such a fantastic feeling and really energises me. Although I have to say now, having had a swim, done some baking and it being eight hours later I am not feeling very energetic. Oh well, I should sleep well tonight!

For those of you who are in spring how are you doing with the weeds?

Carry on Priesting

Hello. How has it been two weeks since I posted? How did that happen?! I am on Easter hols from College/Uni, so expect a flurry of posts from me over the next two weeks, although I expect I will write lots and then stagger the posting.

Thank you for all of your comments recently I have been thinking a lot about your responses to my post on Priesthood. I am sorry I haven’t responded before now, I have been mulling your comments over.

I think you are right – especially Sarah – I have been thinking of it compared to the Christian priest. In response to Sarah the reason I talk about preaching is because I see that as part of the Priest role – but I meant standing up in front of a pulpit, not trying to convert people. I think you are right, that is not what I can have, so I should stop thinking about it in that way. As for Ecoyogini’s comment on why do I say Priest instead of Priestess, erm… I just do. I think it is probably wrong! Sarah also mentioned that the Christian Priest is a conduit, whereas for us Pagans that (of course!) is not a requirement. Again, this wasn’t something that I thought would be part of it.

Isn’t it funny how one word can have so many meanings for so many people and provoke so many thoughts and comments.

I agree wholeheartedly with the idea of the role of Priestess (I will try to say that Ecoyogini!) being as Sarah says:

I think a priest/ess’ role is one of servant. Caring for others, for the land and if you are called to the path of shaman, to travel into the spirit world to accompany those being born or dying. Wisdom comes from experience, ability to interpret it and apply it and a massive realisation of how little you know no matter how much you have studied/learned/experienced.

As for what I am going to do about it…. nothing! Well, that’s not entirely true, I am going to continue living my life as I do and trying to improve it in many ways. Which is what this blog is about really. As Sarah said:

I would suggest you allow the role you feel called towards to emerge by looking at it from the corner of each eye rather than straight on until you understand it and are truly ready to grasp it.

You are so right Sarah  and this is completely the opposite to how I am in my life generally – a good lesson I will try to work on.

Thank you for all of your comments on this subject and for making me think and challenge my thoughts further.

Priesthood

Another one of my half term musings…

Following on from my last post I  think what I am looking for is to be a Priest. As a Pagan it is not that easy – there is no central body to employ me. As Pagans we have no churches, mosques, temples or synagogues. There is no central community to serve either (with the possible exception of Glastonbury).

In addition I would see preaching as a very small part of my role – my beliefs are so intrinsic to my life that it permeates everything that I do. It isn’t a separate part of my life, so that when I go with my Grove to celebrate I don’t put on my ‘Sunday best’.

I would want to be out in my community, talking and teaching – life skills, literacy, ICT skills and basic maths, living in a greener way and crafty skills. Working in the environment to make it more enjoyable for all, including wildlife. Along with counseling, listening and at times just providing a cup of tea and a helping hand to those in need.

Of course, providing handfasting rites working with the dying, burials and naming ceremonies would be part of all of this, but to me being a Priest is so much more than that.

Being Pagan and spiritual by my actions, rather than just words. And the reason that I say ‘spiritual’? I am coming to realise through the blogs I read that many of us on this green path are here because of our religion. Our beliefs give us eyes to see the beauty in the world and we want to protect that, as well as to try to solve the injustices. I am beginning to focus on the similarities between our religions rather than the differences and it is an awakening I am pleased to come to.

The one area I would struggle with as a Priest would be the aspect most people think of in relation to a Priest, preaching. For so long now my Paganism has been a very internal, private thing. I find it very hard to articulate my beliefs; rather strange as I am normally quite verbose!

So, this maybe one way to create the one great big work/life amazing amorphous mass I mentioned in my last post, unfortunately I just can’t see how I can make it happen at this point in time. Oh well, back to the drawing board!

No Impact Man

Seasons greetings and all that. It’s not a big deal for me and I tend not to celebrate it, so no big thoughts on the New Year from me!

I followed the No Impact Man blog for a while, before I decided I needed to cut down on my  internet time. So when the book came out I got on the waiting list at my library for it.

I read it twice in quick succession and really enjoyed it. I don’t want to give a review of it, as there are professional critics out there, but I want to talk about how it made me think.

There are a lot of facts in this book many of which are quite horrifying. But I found it all made me feel guilty and I should be focused on how I can improve my life.

One of his main points is how much easier it is living in the city to be green. I can relate to that – when I lived in London I could easily get everywhere I wanted to go, I didn’t have a car, it was easier to live in a greener way. In fact for just under a year I lived in a community, with the aim of living lighter on the earth.

Here in the suburbs it is more difficult to be as green, but I think I am using that as an excuse. By moving in with my partner I have had to change many things (he was 36 when I moved in, me 29 and we were both set in our ways somewhat!), but I think I have changed many of my eco ways for the worse, watching TV,  particularly eating take ways much more frequently and using my car to get around when I could get my act together and cycle. Part of the problem is I can’t get access to the bike as my back gate has swollen shut. Excuse alert!

I am already doing a lot of the basic green stuff, making my own beauty products, not getting plastic bottles and bags etc, growing my own veg, making a lot of my own food, but I think I am just doing the easy stuff and I can push myself more.

But one things that I found most thought-provoking was his mention of the Story of Stuff. Now, I have seen this linked to on many of the blogs I read and yet I have continued to ignore it. Why is that? Am I afraid of what I might see? Or is it a touch of arrogance on my part? If that is that case why haven’t I watched it, just to prove myself right?

So, I commit to watching this and posting my thoughts on it within the next 2 weeks.

Lastly, something I found very interesting is he came to the conclusion that we should be focusing on what we gain by being green – mainly communities and better relationships with people around us – saying (paraphrase)

We need to draw lines around people, not between them

That is something I like! For me this is what the blogging community is, what the D2E forum does, and I think this is the fundamental key for getting ourselves out of the environmental mess we are in.

More and more normal

Following on from my post Pagan Normality life is making my Paganism more and more normal!

I was in the amazing Foyles bookshop on the Southbank in London when after speaking the assistant about a book which was on the wrong shelf she said to me “merry meet”. I grinned and responded with “blessed be”, but was bemused as to how she had amazingly divined the fact that I was Pagan! Then I realised I had put on my pentagram that morning (I don’t normally wear it).

I was on my way out and it didn’t occur to me to say anything else; as I said I was rather confused, but wow, what a difference it made to my evening. I was going to the National Theatre* with my other half and I grinned for ages and bounced around in a happy way – all because of two words a stranger had said to me. I very much doubt she has any idea of the effect she had on me.

Another thing which has happened is I requested Kit Berry (author of Stonewylde)to be my friend on Facebook, which she accepted and then left a message on my wall – which I was amazed at – the lady is really working the social networking! She signed her wall post with ‘bright blessings’. Again, this bought me huge amounts of joy.

Lastly I downloaded Damh the Bard’s latest album. His music, combined with Omnia and The Dolmen are my favourite things to listen to when I am hubbling and bubbling over my stove creating my own beauty products, or when I am feeling down, or when I am feeling happy.**

Why is this?

All of these things create a Pagan normality and reality around me. Some of these are virtual, especially with online communities, some as simple as a stranger saying ‘merry meet’. One thing I envy Christians is that it is the ‘default’ religion in this land, no one thinks they are strange for going to Church and they can easily find a community on the corner of every other road. I am not naive, I am sure there are problems within a tight community, but at least they have a choice. All organised religions have a place to gather which is built into the hard landscape of our towns and cities, Pagans don’t. For me the fact that Paganism isn’t ‘organised’ is part of its appeal, but sometimes it makes me sad as well.

I am lucky to have very recently found a grove which meets regularly to celebrate each festival, but this new to me and the first time I have had anything like this in the 13 years I have ‘consciously’ been a Pagan.

So, I am going to make more of an effort within my Pagan community, including posting in the forum I belong to (Druid Network) and maybe going out of my way to attend moots, even though I find the concept of moots somewhat scary! And saying ‘merry meet’ to people who I think are Pagan – I am sure no-one will take offence to that?!

*You can get tickets for £10 for the National Theatre – amazing – you cannot go wrong!

** I think I need to do a post about Pagan music soon!

Pay it forward

I’ve just been reading the lady beetle patch. The lady beetle is joining in with the pay it forward fun and I’ve decided to join in too.

So here’s what happens:

I will make a handmade gift for the first 3 interested people who comment on this post.

•I have 365 days to do it in…
•What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise!

The catch is that you must participate as well:

•you must have a blog
•and before you leave your comment here, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. Just cut and paste this one if you like, which I did!

Looking forward to seeing who wants to pay it forward with me!

I guess this is kind of like a nice version of the horrid chain letters, except you get to opt in!

Pagan normality

As usual I have been late to the party on this. I saw them in Pagan Dawn and then I heard an interview with the author on OBOD‘s Druidcast. What am I talking about?

The Stonewylde series of books, written by Kit Berry.

They are set in a closed Pagan community in Dorset and it is about the way their live their lives there, focusing primarily on the leader, Magus, Yul, a young woodsman and Sylvie, a girl who has just joined the (normally closed) community from London and the way their relationships are interlinked.

It is wonderful that the backdrop to all of this is Pagan rituals, day-to-day greetings of ‘Blessings’ and phrases like “Goddess knows” and “Altar stone” as a place the young protagonist visits on a daily basis to his fill of the earth magic and the pub is called “Jack on the Green”.

It is so nice that this is the Pagan normality – just part of day-to-day life. Not where people have to watch what they say just because their vocabulary and frame of reference is so different to everyone else’s and although for the most part people are curious rather than nasty you end up having to explain everything.

I bought all 3 books which are currently out and I devoured 2 of them in a couple of days and now I am reluctant to start the 3rd as, according to Kit’s interview on Druidcast, the 4th will not be out till summer next year and the 5th sometime after that. I just can’t wait!

I have even been talking in my sleep about this it has effected me so much.

Magus is a nasty piece of work and there are many characters who are not very nice – just like in the real world, it is not some hippy utopia, but realistic and grounded (within its context).

In the first book I occasionally felt the writing was a little stilted, but for the most part this is a highly entertaining, thrilling and deeply fulfilling series to read and I want the next book to come out now so I can read the 3rd.

It is my understanding that Kit Berry set up a publishing company as she struggled to get anyone to take this and I hope all of the hard work has paid off for her. She and her partner have to do all of the work marketing this book, as well as her writing it. I really hope this is the start of a long and successful publishing career for Kit she deserves it – she has even given talks to the Women’s Institute about these books!

On the Stonewylde website Kit Berry says

It’s a strange thing, but many people who’ve read Stonewylde become just a little obsessed

I can really believe that!