Masters and update

So, I think I should post you a little update on my life as once again it is all change! As I said before I am no longer teaching, basically due to there being no jobs.

However, in addition to that I have realised something. I miss my spreadsheets. And budgets. And organising things! I know, someone who misses spreadsheets – I must be a freak!

I have 10 years of marketing under my belt and I want to be able to use all of that experience in the arts. And so I start an MA in Arts Administration & Cultural Policy next Tuesday. I am simultaneously excited and scared! Not least of the the bloody loan repayments that start at crippling rates as soon as I graduate!

I have been having a difficult time for the past few weeks, as I was expecting to be supply teaching by now to pay my way. Unfortunately no work has come up. In addition temping agencies don’t want to know (there are loads of people with much more flexibility and availability than me) and it is really quite difficult to get an appointment with the people who deal with the recruitment at the local shopping centre. Even the local supermarkets don’t have any jobs.

I don’t deal well with sitting around at home doing nothing. It is not good for me. And I have loads of craft projects that I could be doing, and yet I am not doing them because I feel somewhat paralysed with guilt at not earning, or working. I love to work – I get more done in my free time when I am busy – I find it hard to get stuff done when I don’t have a time pressure. The busier I am the more I do.

If you want something done then give it to a busy woman! I am the absolute epitamy of that it has to be said.

I can’t even go for long training runs at the moment as I am tapering for a race this weekend – I am very excited about that  - details to follow after the event!

Hopefully supply work will start coming in soon and with university I will be back to being totally hectic again – just how I like it.

education, education, oh bollocks

Hello there.

So, rather than doing a long, boring catch up post with what has been going on in my life I decided to cut to the chase.

Education, Education, Education was Tony Blair’s (former Prime Minster) catch-phrase during his election – that was in October 2005. Now? Forget it? Funding for EAL students? Cut. EMA – the funding given to students too poor to stay in college without it? Cut. Money per student head? Cut?

Yes, I am not stupid, I know that we are in a recession, but is cutting spending on education the best way to go? Is cutting pensions so that teachers work longer, pay in about £200 more a month and get less at the end a good idea? No…Teachers do not get a gold-plated pension, it is about £10K a year. And working till 65? Are you joking – I can keep up with the pace of things and the technology now, but in another 33 years? Not a chance.

My college has had 10% of its budget cut, so there are redundancies, the other major college in my area – well they went through a take over a couple of years ago and have been laying people off ever since. It sucks.

I have just spent £10K doing my teacher training and there are not any jobs in my area. I cannot move as there is two of us. So, basically as of the end of this academic year I do not have a job. I AM A QUALIFIED TEACHER AND I DO NOT HAVE A JOB… is that clear?

I am having another career think, which is a shame as I am a good teacher and I do enjoy teaching a great deal. As for what happens come September….watch this space a lot depends on Friday….

I plan on commenting on others’ sites and blogging more again, I think I just needed a bit of a break, but I am back

Great start!

Hello!

Well, so far I have had a great start to the year, my new job is going brilliantly and I have completed one of my goals!

I am very happy in  my new job, I feel like I am in the right environment for me, which makes me much more relaxed and I enjoy it more. I know it sounds silly, but wearing jeans, docs and sitting on my desk means a lot to me. I have already picked up another two hour’s worth of work and I hoping that in time that will increase. We shall have to see!

I have also managed to complete my goal of being able to run 5K without having to walk. This has made me also very happy. It has been a while (ahem, 8 years) since I have been this fit, so it is great. I am using a diary to write down all of my exercise and I am trying to follow the 10% rule of only doing 10% more mileage/time each week. This is part of my plan to try not to injure myself and I hoping that it will work.

Yesterday my Grove and I met up, which was really lovely. What was also good to hear is that the majority of the Grove is struggling to have any sort of connection as well; it made me feel a lot better to know that I wasn’t alone in my darkening and feeling abandoned by my beliefs! We had soup, tea and cake sitting out over looking the South Downs of Kent, watching the sky change colour as the sun went down. It was very relaxing and good to be talking with my friends again – we missed our Yule ritual due to the extremely bad snow in the area. I am sure many other Pagans feel like this: it is great to be amongst other Pagans, where one doesn’t have to explain anything, everyone just understands. My wonderful OH was instrumental in pushing me out of the door, ignoring my protests that I have no connection. He is right – it’s not going to get any better sat indoors!

While I was chatting with the OH, before he pushed me out of the door, he said to me that this isn’t my time of year. I didn’t know what he meant as I quite like the winter, don’t suffer from SAD, or miss the light. He laughed and said that the  year goes like this:

Spring – RRRAAAAHHHHHH, everything is growing! Pushing up new buds! Coming to life. Going crazy!!!

Summer – everything is just lying around in the sun, eating everything, getting fat, enjoying relaxing, just absorbing and chill out…

Autumn – right, quick! We need to get ready! Chuck away the leaves! Hide the nuts! Build up supplies for winter! Get ready!!!

Winter – okaaay, just sit here, in the warm, it’s cold outside, eating the supplies, nope going stay here…..

I think he is absolutely correct – I am spring and autumn! I am both of these types, I seem to run at full pelt the whole time, have loads to do and enjoy DOING THINGS! Strange how I have never thought of this – and yet he has.

So, what about you – how’s your calendar year started and what season do you think you are?

Looking forward

So, tomorrow I start my new job at the college where I did my placement during my PGCE year. I am greatly looking forward to it and yet still have that new job slight anxiety and sickness feeling. I need a lot of sleep to function well and ironically I tend to turn into a bit of an insommniac at times like this, so I am tired to boot!

I am also rather apprehensive that as soon as I go back to work I am going to get ill, my OH has been ill all over the Christmas break, as have the vast majority of my friends and family. I have managed to escape from all of the winter illness, which is not like me at all. Hopefully being in a school enviornment has toughened my immune system.

Normally I don’t do new year resolutions at all, but this year I felt rather compelled to make some life goals for me. But ones which are kind and achieveable, rather than expecting too much of myself. So here they are, with a short explanation:

To run 5K without walking

I have taken up running again and I am making slow, but steady progress and to get back to a level of fitness that I used to have I want to be able to run 5K without taking a walking break. Currently I can walk/run 5K in 40 mins, but I can only run for 20 without a break. So, a gentle, steady practice is the way foward.

To train for, and run, a 10K race without injuring myself

Now, for most people it would be a given that they would want to be in a 10k race and not injure themselves. However I have signed up for 3 10Ks now and each time I have dislocated my hip in the training process. This is because I focus on a goal and just go for it hell for leather, regardless of steady progression. So, I am reading running magazines and paying attention to the 10% increase of mileage a week. Hopefully I will get there without any dislocations. Incase you were wondering the dislocation is as a result of hyper-mobility; which basically means I am too flexible for my own good. Most of the time it is not a problem at all, I just have to be a bit aware of myself!

To have a happy and enjoyable wedding

Hopefully the reasons why are quite obvious! We are getting married at the end of July and it suddenly all seems rather close!

To finish my quilt

My mum is an amazing patchworker and I have seen the work that goes into it and I just don’t have the patience for it at all. Or the attention to detail; however I do like embroidery and the idea of a quilt, so after taking my mum’s advice I have started on making big squares of embroidery and then using patchwork to put them together. The idea being that the embroidery is like mini pictures, which is then framed  by the rest of the fabric.

I have just completed the last embroidery square and so the next phase is to start to put it together and then the actual quilting.

I have deliberatley done this project as a ‘slow burn’ and doing the individual squares has meant that I have felt a sense of achievement each time I have completed a square. This next bit, however, is the long haul and I want to make sure that I don’t run out of steam before it is completed!

To do my grade 3 exam in the flute

Music has always been a really important part of my life and I have just started to have lessons in the flute again. Although grade 3 is not very high it is where I am at and I get a great sense of enjoyment out of it. Although I will probably not be able to afford as many lessons as I have been doing, I am hoping to be able to do enough to get through my grade 3 this year.

To enjoy work

After my false start in my teaching career I am hoping that this will get me back on track again to start enjoying the work. Teaching in the Further Education (16 year old +) sector is very poorly paid and you really must enjoy it to do it!

To find additional work

I am very pleased to have enough work to pay my bills, but I really do need to find some other work as well, otherwise I am not going to have much of a life at all. So I am looking for additional teaching work to supplement the hours at my local college.

So, that’s my plans for this calendar year. What about you?

very bad blogger

So, it has been well over three months since I last posted. Sorry about that!

The reason? Mainly my job: working in a secondary school has not been enjoyable for me at all. To be fair this is a particularly rough school, but even so, I have realised that I do not enjoy working with this age group.

I don’t feel that the last six months have been a waste of time, I have learnt a lot and I would have always wondered if I would enjoy working in a school. The answer is a very emphatic no! I don’t like moaning at people about their uniform and I feel very hypocritical telling them to take out piercings and they have to get rid of their hair dye. I have a top ear stud, my nose is pierced and over the years my hair has pretty much been every colour available!

I also don’t like the lower school, I find them far too needy for my liking, not to mention the fact that I don’t like what I have to teach at that level.

So, what’s happening now? Well have 10 hours teaching in the sixth form college (16-19 years old) where I did my placement, which I am very pleased about and there is a chance that the hours may increase. It is a (another) huge pay cut, but I cannot have continued as I was. I have applied for several other part-time jobs teaching English, but as a result of the Government cuts there have been a lot of functional skills and adult literacy courses cut. In addition Parliment is just about to vote on cutting the EMA – Educational maintenance Allowance – which pays students for staying in college. This means that there are likely to be fewer students next year, and so less chance of me getting my contract renewed.

Teaching is not a stable, job for life anymore that is for sure.

There is a lot to comment on in English politics at the moment, not to mention global ones, but let’s start off nice and gentle first. I am back and I plan to be blogging more regularly (although I have said that before), I am hoping to have more creative energy now, so fingers crossed!

 

whew

So….the British election….hmm…..don’t really know what to say there to be honest.

I have finished all of the major assignments and I have just done the last assessment of my course. I have my portfolio to finalise, but I think everything is in there bar a couple of minor bits of paper, mainly as I have been hyper-organised.

It has been a really painful push for me and in the last nine days I have left the house twice – to go to Uni and to go to College to teach (there has been a Bank holiday).

All of which has left me really drained and knackered. I need to take some time to rest, relax and recouperate my energy. As such there may not be any posts for a while. On the other hand there maybe a sudden onslaught of lots of posts and my brain frees itself from all of the constraints it has been in for a while now.

Of course, I still have gigantic piles of marking to do, some of which are threatening to topple over, partly as it is nearing exam time for my AS students and so they are practicing lots of essays and for my BTEC students they have just finished modules, so I have them to mark too. And still some lessons to teach each week, just not as much as before Easter.

So, still lots to do, its just not much more Uni work.

Either way, I need to take some time to rest, otherwise I am not going to get anything done at all!

Meadering, bimbling thoughts

Hello there.

I don’t actually have a topic for this post, I normally set out with a specific idea on which to post; even if it changes as I write – something which has happened several times now. I do have lots of things on my mind and so I am writing to see if anything worthwhile comes out. Apologies if it doesn’t!

First up – bimbling – it’s not a real word, yet one which I like and use quite a lot. Hopefully you understand what I mean my it. I normally use it in the context of bimbling along when walking somewhere – no pace, no strong sense of direction. My other half is away on business at the moment (which is happening quite a lot of late, he has lots of big projects on the go) which tends to result in my brain whirring away with no particular focus.

I got the job which I mentioned before – so I am now a teacher in a secondary school – teaching 11-16 year olds English Literature and Language. I am very pleased to have got this job and I am really excited about starting. My first day is the 21 June – just after I complete my University course. Once that is finished I will be qualified to teach in further education and sixth form colleges: so, not in a school. As such there will be more training to do. At this stage I am not entirely sure what what this will be as I will already have a teaching qualification; its all very complicated and confusing. However I am not worried about it – just excited. I am a very good student and I love studying, so I will just do what I need to do and the school is really supportive, which is excellent.

Last weekend I went on a basic herbalism course at the fantastic Assington Mill. There are so many courses I want to do there and having been there I want to do even more of them now! Anne the owner is incredibly friendly and helpful and with her partner cooks the most amazing lunches. I was taught by Jude and Vanessa from Of People and Plants who were very kind and knowledgeable people. I have been interested in herbalism for a really long time, for example when I was Uni over ten years ago I made lots of herbal teas, but always from bought herbs.  Although I make my lotions and potions now I have never been confident enough to start picking my own herbs.

This course has really boosted my confidence and I have already been down to my allotment and picked a load of plants which were weeds before and I now see as medicine. I now have two oils being created and a spring tincture. I am hoping they will be running another course soon this was spring focused and I really would like one for each season to help me identify the plants who are ripe for harvesting. There really is something about doing things in person with a real teacher, as opposed to a book, which has given me great confidence to get out and start practising.

A few of you said you were interested in some of my recipes I mentioned in my last post. I am going to start off nice and simple with creations you can probably make from your kitchen cupboards, or after a quick trip to the chemist and I will get going on those shortly.

Hmmm, this is getting rather long now and so I will call a halt to my written bimbling. Hopefully there will soon be a post with more focus and something concrete to communicate.

Earwigging politics

For those of you who follow my twitter feed (@darkpurplemoon) I was involved at my University yesterday when Ed Balls (Minister for Education) came to speak to trainee teachers. I think it was supposed to encourage us to vote for him, which was amusing. He was very slick and quite likeable, but his stories and the things he said didn’t really match, although it was hard not to sycophantically laugh along with him (damn that politeness!) . I asked him a couple of questions, which at the time he seemed to answer, although a few minutes later I realised he hadn’t actually answered my question at all. Very vexing – I guess I am just not used to talking to politicians! We were all filmed by the BBC, but according to a friend who saw the evening news we were only in the background as he was filmed making his education announcement.

At the end of last week I emailed the Lib Dem and Conservative candidate to ask for their response to the digital economy bill (#debill) and I emailed our current MP (Labour)  to ask him why he voted for it (he was one of the ones which bothered to turn up). How many of them do you think actually responded to me? Yep, just one – the Lib Dem candidate. She and I are still emailing and chatting about various local issues. Really? Is this how the parties are harnessing technology to engage with the voters – when they cannot even be bothered to respond to an email. Shocking.

Recently I have been *not* listening to my iPod everywhere I go – unusual behaviour for me, a habit I learnt when I lived in London – the only way to survive was to create my own little bubble around myself. As a result of not blocking everything out I have been earwigging* on other peoples’ conversations. I have been delighted by the amount of people I have heard discussing politics. From the group of middle-aged women at the doctors’ reception, who were saying they were trying to get their children to think about the vote they were going to make and the fact they were trying to instill in their children a sense of duty for having to vote. Through to the retired ladies in the swimming pool changing room who were haranguing one of the ladies who said she didn’t want to vote as she thought they were all the same. Still naked they were arguing policies and saying “women fought to get a vote we must use it, even if we spoil the paper”.

Each and every time I wanted to go up and engage in conversation with them. At some point I will do, I normally have no compunction about joining in with random conversations!

I find this all extremely heartening. These are everyday people, talking about the upcoming election (GE2010) at home and at work. However, I haven’t heard any young people talking about it, my students at college are too young to vote (they are all 16 and 17) but I think I will find a way to talk to them about the election and to see how they feel about it all.

So, it is all picking up pace here, but it has none of the excitement about the American election and the candidates are all homogenous to a degree – white, middle (or upper) class white men. Most of their party is the same. I would love a party make up to represent the country as a whole – more women, more disabled people, more people of colour, maybe even some people who fall into all three categories at once.

Oh and if you are interested in how women are being portrayed throughout the election Cath over at Too Much To Say For Myself is doing an Election Sexism Watch, with phrases like ‘glamorous politician’ ‘Cameron’s Cuties’ ‘War of the Wives’ it is enough to make you sick. Cath said on edition 3:

Bloody hell, I hadn’t envisaged there’d be enough of this sexist shite* to fill up a fresh blog post every sodding day!

I think that says it all really, but honestly it makes me so angry – we are in 2010, not 1910.

*A side note: is ‘earwigging’ a British term, or just my family, or does everyone understand that? In case you don’t I basically mean overhearing and listening to others’ conversations!

And….relax

Hello, thanks for all the further thoughts on Pagan priesthood. It’s all very interesting and lots of think about!

I should be:

• Studying for my last PGCE assignment
• Marking a set of English essays
• Making a cot quilt
• Making my niece’s birthday present
• Making some more lotions and potions
• Going to the allotment
• Preparing for a really important and scary job interview

But do you know what? I just can not be bothered right now. I have done a lot so far over my holidays, most of it all rather dull and errand based. I have less time for doing day-to-day things now than I did when I was working full-time, I could easily do some internet shopping, or deal with car MOTs, getting presents etc while I was at work and no-one would be any the wiser. It’s not possible to do that when teaching – I can’t make a sneaky phone call to the garage when teaching a lesson on the historical context of comedy or how to do budgeting for a theatre company!

I haven’t been to my allotment for ages – I have either been really busy or ill – I have heard there is a ‘teachers’ immune system’ which I will get at some point -  I would really like it to kick in now, I seem to get every bug going and I’m rather bored of it to be honest.

So, what have I been doing? Well aside from all the silly little time-consuming errands I have managed to plant all my spring seeds, write a whole assignment, do one set of marking and most importantly spend time with friends and relax! I know that doesn’t sound like much but I really am rubbish at relaxing, spending most of my time at a full on pelt, either collapsing into bed at the end of the day, or being wide awake with my mind racing.

I have been writing, meditating, exercising and very much being in the moment. It is wonderful and really reminds me that I do not spend enough time doing this on a day-to-day basis, and quite frankly I should know better. In my last holiday (half term) I worked all of it, sitting at my computer, writing assignments, marking and preparing for the next half term. I felt totally unrefreshed when I went back to college and I really needed to make sure I didn’t do the same for this one.

So, I haven’t. I have had two days this week out and about, Monday at a Pagan festival event, with Damh the Bard playing and Ancient Music, which was lovely to hear. Yesterday I went to a craft type place, which also has a small farm for children too. I was convinced by my friend to do some ceramic painting, so I have created a rather lairy green, orange and purple massive mug for me to drink my vast quantities of redbush tea out of, while she created a rather beautiful and refined graduated goblet. I’m looking forward to picking them up some point next week.

I frequently forget that it is so important to take time out to relax and refresh so I can bring lots of energy to the things I do. I think I need to implement a routine or timetable to make sure I relax during term time as well. Or is that just my control freak side trying to regiment relaxing – which should be the very opposite to timetabled!

What do you do to ensure you relax, or do you not find it an issue?

Priesthood

Another one of my half term musings…

Following on from my last post I  think what I am looking for is to be a Priest. As a Pagan it is not that easy – there is no central body to employ me. As Pagans we have no churches, mosques, temples or synagogues. There is no central community to serve either (with the possible exception of Glastonbury).

In addition I would see preaching as a very small part of my role – my beliefs are so intrinsic to my life that it permeates everything that I do. It isn’t a separate part of my life, so that when I go with my Grove to celebrate I don’t put on my ‘Sunday best’.

I would want to be out in my community, talking and teaching – life skills, literacy, ICT skills and basic maths, living in a greener way and crafty skills. Working in the environment to make it more enjoyable for all, including wildlife. Along with counseling, listening and at times just providing a cup of tea and a helping hand to those in need.

Of course, providing handfasting rites working with the dying, burials and naming ceremonies would be part of all of this, but to me being a Priest is so much more than that.

Being Pagan and spiritual by my actions, rather than just words. And the reason that I say ‘spiritual’? I am coming to realise through the blogs I read that many of us on this green path are here because of our religion. Our beliefs give us eyes to see the beauty in the world and we want to protect that, as well as to try to solve the injustices. I am beginning to focus on the similarities between our religions rather than the differences and it is an awakening I am pleased to come to.

The one area I would struggle with as a Priest would be the aspect most people think of in relation to a Priest, preaching. For so long now my Paganism has been a very internal, private thing. I find it very hard to articulate my beliefs; rather strange as I am normally quite verbose!

So, this maybe one way to create the one great big work/life amazing amorphous mass I mentioned in my last post, unfortunately I just can’t see how I can make it happen at this point in time. Oh well, back to the drawing board!