Practice

A couple of times in the last few weeks I have had to explain my beliefs and practice. Have you ever had to do that – explain what your beliefs are from scratch – to those who have no concept or frame of reference that allows them to understand what it is you are saying. And I don’t mean a throw away comment, but a detailed explanation.

It’s tough, let me tell you.

As you know, I have had thoughts for a while about serving my community and how, as a Pagan, that can be quite difficult.

I have a couple of things on that go that are helping to seek to address that and I will explain about them at a further date.

But today, I went to the Chaplaincy at my university for the midday prayer. Why did I do that? You may ask. If you were thinking that it would probably be an Anglican service you would in fact be right. I want to engage with people from within a religious context is the answer. I did have trepidations about going, but I really shouldn’t have – Adele the Chaplin was welcoming, as was the other person there for the prayer. They even welcomed me during the prayers, which was a really nice feeling!

None of them (we were joined by a man later) had had any contact with Pagans and so I had to explain what my beliefs were and what my practice was. To very puzzled and bemused faces in one case – not from judgement, but from a lack of understanding. It was a real challenge for me to explain myself comprehensively.

They asked me why I went to them today – and I explained my reasons – most, you know, but also because I believe that at the root of most religions is love and a belief in a higher power- most of us are heading towards the same point, just with different language, texts and clothes in some cases (looking at the Chaplin’s dog collar). I am happy to worship with other people – my practice is solitary and it is nice to be with other people who are reaching out to the higher power – however they see it.

Worship – now there’s a tricky word for most Pagans, who refuse to have anything to do with it. And I understand – there is a lot of baggage attached to the word. But more and more I am coming to terms with it – it is a word that many faiths can understand. I do not prostrate myself, nor am I obsequious in my dealings with the Gods. Let’s face it; I am not a grovelling person. But I like to look for similarities between religions, let’s find ways for us to have things in common, not differences. And if working with a word is the way to do it, so be it.

As part of explaining my beliefs I explained my daily practice (which I promise I will write about soon). The Chaplin said that it was very grounded. I laughed- what a great summary for my Paganism. It is grounded – as I have said many, many times I am a highly practical, pragmatic person. I am not airy-fairy and my faith is such a huge part of who I am – it is not a mantle that I pull on at ritual time, in the form of velvet and frippery. In fact when I do ritual it is often wearing my jeans and trusty docs.

Before anyone gets offended – people practice how they want and that is fine, I am just trying to articulate, on (virtual) paper, my feelings and practice. And that’s not to say that I don’t like making ritual a special time with special clothes (or not as it were), but my Paganism is such an integral part of me.

So, there we go, a long, rather waffling response to a challenging 75 minutes, which really made me think about myself and my practices. I will be going back to Chaplaincy room for more time there – in amongst the chaos of an Arts university it is a really nice place to ground and think on different things.

Meh

This is a time of the year that I normally love, but I am struggling a bit at the moment. I think it’s because I have been stressing about the lack of job, stressing about starting uni and just generally stressing.

I am a bit of a stress head.

I now have a little job – weekend working in a bar – the irony being that I don’t actually drink. I am trying to keep that one quiet! But it is not enough for stretch my career development loan to last until the end of my course. So I am still hoping that some supply teaching/tutoring comes through, but so far there has been none.

Uni is fine – a little frustrating as we have a three hour lecture on marketing. The first two were fine, as it was talking about the reasons people are involved in the arts and quite frankly a spiritual/emotional/intellectual/social connection is not a reason for people to buy IT products (which is what I used to market) – so that was new. After that it has gone onto strategic marketing etc. I have a Professional Diploma in Marketing from the Chartered Institute of Marketing, so I am fairly on top of that!

But the rest of it is interesting, but we have a lot of visiting lecturers who talk to us about their thing. Which is great, but so far there hasn’t been one which is talking about my thing. One of my friends was totally rapt with what we were being told the other day and I was mildly interested for the first hour and then bored as we went onto the next hour!

A big part of my problem is I don’t know what I want to do – I am open to options, but I don’t like not knowing what is coming or what is happening – I am a bit of a control freak. We need to start thinking about what we are going to do for our internships (I am opposed to them on priniciple, but it is  short term thing and an important part of our course – a 6000 word essay is to be written). And I don’t know.

Lots of the people on my course are practitioners, they do things – like run drama workshops with kids/dance/sing/play etc etc. I don’t do any of that. What I do is GET SHIT DONE. This is my main skill. It doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, it is. There are always lots of people who have ideas, but few people who can pull everything together, use their amazing powers of organisation and make it happen.

So I want to be in a creative enviornment, where I am the person who makes stuff happen.

Not sure I have seen that in a job title anywhere.

So, all of these things combined have left me stressed and exhausted. I can feel myself tipping onto the edge of my downward depression spiral. But this is the first time I have noticed myself at the edge before I have slipped down the spiral. So I am continuing to meditate, my OH suggested a walk in the woods before I start work on Saturday and I have bought lots of smoothies and soups. Yes, I know I could make them myself, but I know that is not going to happen and I need to make sure that I have healthy food that required no effort to eat.

Oh and I have just reorganised my Filofax and rewritten all of my to-do pages. Yes, I know it is neurotic, but I do feel so much better and in control. :-)

 

Oh OU!

I love to learn, anything and everything. I have an insatiable curiosity about so many topics, from practical crafts through to academic studies. I honestly would be really happy just learning new things constantly and, due to my nature, be able to do them perfectly and know everything!

I would have loved to have stayed at university when I finished my degree and gone  on to do a MA and then a PhD. But you know, money…life…blah blah and I couldn’t do so.

A couple of years ago I found out about the Open University. It is an amazing institution, it means you can study for a degree from home, in your own time. There is even funding available for you to do this, depending on your circumstances.

My other half is studying for two science degrees and I have done two small modules – one on photography and one on music. It covers just about every subject. It is very highly regarded by major institutions. My problem is I pretty much want to do every course on there. Although I have done a BA hon Theatre Studies degree (not performance arts, it is an academic study of theatre), I could have chosen to go down a science or language route when I was younger. As such I want to learn everything!

The OU even does an ‘open’ degree where you can study modules from every faculty and come away with a BA or BSc depending on whatever section you did most of and your degree would be BA (hons.) Open or BSc (hons.) Open.

It is an absolutely amazing institution which we in the UK are extremely lucky to have and it is open to overseas students as well. It is an excellent way for people to continue their learning when maybe they weren’t able to when they were younger, or because they couldn’t afford it, or because they are now retired and want to keep their brain active, or because like me they just want to know about everything!

But in true OU style they make their learning open – some of the very high quality, informative programmes on the BBC are co-produced with the OU, the OU does free podcasts via iTunes U and it is making decent sections of some of its modules available for free here. Go and check out some of the modules and enjoy learning something new.

Sorry for the lack of posting

Apologies for the lack of posting, I have been extremely busy with uni and college stuff, as well as getting going with some serious spiritual things as a result of a Druid discussion group this Saturday (for lack of a better turn of phrase!).

I don’t want this blog to turn into a day to day what I did type of blog and my brain isn’t in the right place for thinking of anything at the moment.

So I will probably be back in a few days or so. For some spiritual inspiration head on over to Shamanic Druidry for some excellent reflections on becoming endarkened, rather than enlightened.

 

Autumn is coming

This week it has felt like the seasons have changed from summer to autumn. Of course the end of August is officially the end of autumn, however it is never normally so clearly delineated.

There has been a tang in the air, a certain smell which differs from that of summer. And I love it. I joyfully announced to my OH that it was nearly time for gloves and scarves and hats, thick jumpers and stews. He looked at me as if I was some what mad.

One of the main reasons I love living in England (and I am not at all patriotic) is the seasons and the clear distinctions between them. I enjoy the contrasts, seeing the difference in the landscape around us and the way we as humans respond to them.

The changing of the seasons always makes me stop and appreciate the nature that surrounds us, even in our towns.

It means the manic production of my allotment is going to slow down and give me to time to think a bit about what I am actually doing with it all (I will share my ideas soon), try and get some spring crops as well as plan for next years main season. As I got my plot so late in the season I didn’t really get a chance to plan – I didn’t have the space to plant things anyway, but as I have nearly finished digging half of my plot I am in a better position.

A major thing for me is that I go to University next week, which I am very excited about. I graduated 9 years ago, so it is good to be going back to study, especially as it is enabling me to do what I have always wanted to do (teach). So the changing of seasons is allowing change in my life to.

What does the change of seasons mean for you?